Boundaries are self love

 

A boundary is like an invisible fence around ourself. It protects your person, your mind, your soul & your beliefs.

We can set boundaries for our

• personal space
• sexuality
• emotions
• thoughts
• Things and possessions
• time
• energy
• culture, religion, and ethics

The word “boundary” can be a bit misleading. It conveys the idea of keeping yourself separate or distant. But boundaries are actually the connecting points between you and others since they provide healthy rules for navigating any kind of relationship.

Boundaries improve our relationships and self-esteem

Boundaries protect relationships from becoming unsafe for our physical or mental health. They keep us from giving too much or letting others take too much. When you say the word « boundary » it seems like we want to stay away, distance or keep ourselves separate from others but they actually bring us closer together than farther apart, and are therefore necessary in any kind of relationship.

Having boundaries allows you to make yourself a priority, whether that’s in self-care, career aspirations, or within relationships.

Boundaries can be flexible

Don’t draw your boundaries in permanent ink. It’s good to think about them occasionally and reassess. It’s also good to think about how they can affect others or if they are too harsh. Don’t forget boundaries are made to help us stay safe in relationships not cut ourselves off from them completely.

When boundaries are too rigid or inflexible your relationships may start to deteriorate.

You don’t want to isolate yourself, avoid closeness altogether, or give up all your time to others.

Boundaries allow us to conserve our emotional energy

You don’t need to have the same boundaries or comfort level for everyone. Boundaries are set individually and depend on the situation or person. They can also help you maintain enough energy to care for yourself.

Boundaries give us space to grow 

We all deal with complex feelings when it comes to life in general. By setting boundaries and then breaking them, when the time is right, you’re showing your vulnerability.

This could be as simple as talking openly to friends and family about yourself and your feelings. When we display vulnerability to someone, we let them know that they’re welcome to open up to us sometime when they need to. Shared vulnerability brings people closer together over time and helps relationships grow.

We each make different meanings of situations. We will change our own boundaries over the years as we grow and our perspectives evolve. One standard cannot hold for all relationships and forever. Each one of us needs to find that level of comfort within ourselves.

You can investigate and define your boundaries with self-reflection.

It is important in setting boundaries to identify your basic human rights such as

• I have a right to say no without feeling guilty.
• I have a right to be treated with respect.
• I have a right to make my needs as important as others.
• I have a right to be accepting of my mistakes and failures.
• I have a right not to meet others’ unreasonable expectations of me.

Once you identify your rights and choose to believe in them, you’ll find honoring them easier. When you honor them, you’ll stop spending energy pleasing others who dishonour them.

Even though it can be daunting to say, “No” is a complete sentence.

Don’t be afraid to set your boundaries, it’s a form of self love. 

Show others how they should love you.

It’s simple, if you don’t know how to love yourself not many others will know how to love you. Only you can set your boundaries and know what you want and deserve from other people in any kind of relationship. If you don’t love and respect yourself others will take, give or not give what they need and want from the relationship according to their own needs. 

xxx curlycurvydiva